Thursday 3 November 2016

MERITS IN BEING A HOUSEHOLDER

When people come to know that I had retired ahead of my retirement age, they always ask me, "So are you working?", implying if I had another job, and when I reply, "No", the next question fired at me is, "So now, how do you kill time?"

In "The Four Ashramas: The Yogic Stages of Life & What They Can Teach Us, by Jake at 
http://www.thelivingyogablog.com/four-ashramas-yogic-stages-life-can-teach-us/, he summarizes the perception of the general public on retirement perfectly,
Finally, we often see retirement as a sad inevitability – an unfortunate ending that is to be held off as long as possible. And, when that day does finally come, we see it as a source of great sorrow and likely to strip us of both our identity and our usefulness.
True enough, looking around us, it is indeed sad to see folks feeling lost and lonely as they grow old.

When Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal visited my home for the very first time, upon accepting my invitation to have lunch, he read out a poem from his compilation of Siddha Potri, exalting the greatness of feeding a turavi or mendicant. Many merits are derived in ushering these Sadhus into the homes and seeing to their needs. Later he reminded me that it was not enough that I came into the path of the Siddhas, but that I had to bring my family in too. In all the Nadi readings for AVM family members Agathiyar too has said that they shall excel in the Siddha path while remaining as a householder.

The role of the householder is extolled in the scriptures, comparing them with air that is of utmost importance to stay alive. In Sanatana Dharma there is seen "a systematic and orderly arrangement" in living one's life, vis four ashramas namely brahmacarin; grhastha; vanaprastha; and samnyasin. The grhastha or householder is from where the other three ashramas spring from. 

"As all creatures live supported by air, so the other orders exist supported by the householder. Of all these, by the precepts of the Veda-sruti, the householder is called the best; he verily supports the other three. As all streams and rivers flow to rest in the ocean, so all the ashramas flow to rest in the householder" 

There are activities designed for each period of life, divided into four major segments or stages, each extending 21 years (or 25 according to others). 

Manu who wrote the laws for living a rightful life has stated that man should pass through each stage progressively before moving on the next. After acquiring knowledge and education at a young age he lands himself a job and begins to acquire wealth. This wealth is then distributed and upon fulfilling his responsibilities he seeks fulfillment for his soul as an ascetic. He performs rituals and sacrifices and eventually drops even that when he enters the last stage living the life of a samnyasin.

Everything was laid out perfect where "this succession was regarded as very important for the development of the jivatman." After having studied, having offspring, and having performed sacrifices he then steps on the road to moksa. Very rarely do we come across one who skips any of these stages. If he does skip, its because he would then have fully paid his debts to society in previous births.

The householder is required to accumulate wealth, distributing it fairly and forever required to be hospitable to others. He enjoys the wealth and luxury but is always required to give alms.

Upon begetting grandchildren, he then moves on to become a vanaprastha, where he is now dutiful towards the well being of the world. This was mentioned by Agathiyar in Tavayogi's daughter's Nadi where the most compassionate father consoles her when she was rather sad that he father had chosen to leave all behind and become a turavi or monk. Agathiyar mentioned that Tavayogi, who had fulfilled his responsibilities to his family, had a bigger role to play now, one that was for the good of the world.

When I dragged my feet  initially in conducting the homam and abhisegam on the directive of Tavayogi and Agathiyar respectively, for the sole reason that I did not want to end up being a priest, Agathiyar explained to me that I was not doing it for myself but for the well-being of the world and all of humanity.

Similarly man at the vanaprastha stage has a new purpose now. "His duty to the world is now to help it by prayer and sacrifice, and he is accordingly to continue to offer the five daily sacrifices, together with the agnihotra, the new moon and full moon sacrifices."

This simple ascetic life leads him to the last stage, that of the samnyasin - one who has renounced everything and living in solitude and meditation.

"Rejoicing in the supreme Self, sitting indifferently, refraining from sensual delights, with himself for his only friend, let him wander here on earth, aiming at liberation"

Resting in Brahman, he reaches Brahman.

"So wisely did the ancient ones mark out the road along which a man should tread, that any man who takes this plan of life, divided into four stages, will find his outgoing and in-drawing energies rightly balanced. First, the student stage, properly lived and worthily carried out; then the householder stage, with all its busy activity in every direction of worldly business; then the gradual withdrawal from activity, the turning inward, the life of comparative seclusion, of prayer and of meditation, of the giving of wise counsel to the younger generation engaged in worldly activities; and then, the life of complete renunciation."

Hence, "Such was the four ashramas laid out for mankind to achieve the highest end - the helping on of the worlds, and the cooperating with Isvara in his benevolent administration, and his guidance of evolution - verifying in its fullest sense the dictum of Manu."

Reference: Sanatana Dharma by Annie Besant and Bhagavan Das, The Theosophical Publishing House.