On 29.6.2020, Lord Shiva, who was all praise for us, switched tones and took all those gathered to task for remaining in the clutches of Maya or illusion. He asked us to put more effort into our practices and do it before the guru (Agathiyar).
The first mention of the word Maya was by Tavayogi, who took me to task, would you believe it, for thanking him for his visit to my home for the first time in 2005. I was elated. While sending him back, I was telling him, or rather, pouring my heart out that he was the very first and only guru to visit my home and that I was overjoyed receiving him. He turned to me and said, "You are living in Maya. You think I have something hidden beneath my safron robes. I am a nobody. I am not a holy man (Samy) but a fraud (Asamy). Do not worship me. Worship that light within you. I call him Agathiyar." I was devastated and remained silent for the rest of our drive back to his lodge at a local Peedham.
Many years later, in 2024, Lord Muruga came to warn me of the divine play that Lord Siva and Agathiyar were playing with Indran, as an accomplice. Ironically, Agathiyar sends me for a Nadi reading and reveals the extent of the grip of Maya in all things material and spiritual. The revelation was earth-shattering. But I am glad that they gave me those experiences too, for now I could see through the veil of Maya and stay clear from its clutches. All of creation is tainted by Maya or impurities. One has to see through this veil and be one with the existence before the point of creation. Thus, all names and forms drop. Time and space drops. Acts of creation, sustenance, and eradication stop. What is present is pure awareness and silence in the moment. They had made me drop my reliance on others for my upliftment, for whatever is a product or comes from this worldly existence is a product of Maya. All that is a product of the Tattvas is false, as it only applies to this worldly existence. I now have to look up towards the Prapanjam for the truth on existence. The Soul or Atma is the link henceforth.
Dr. Zhi Gang Sha, in his book "The Power of Soul", Atria Paperback, NY, 2009, writes,
Your soul is the greatest resource for your intelligence. To realize this is the first step. To receive soul intelligence, wisdom and knowledge to transform your life is the second step. To develop your soul intelligence, wisdom and knowledge further is the third step."
To know the Soul that resides within one has to travel the external, then learn to drop their hold on it and go within. Giving me a list of temples I should visit and pray and make my offerings to the deities residing there, Agathiyar, after my first lesson on Karma, taught me my next that of giving. He introduced me to do charity, to part with my money, and to give to others in other forms. He asked me to continue puja to Lord Shiva. He then gave me mantras to chant, namely Lord Ganapathy's, and introduced me officially to the worship of the Siddhas. Agathiyar then introduced me to breathing exercises or Pranayama, giving me instructions in the Nadi. He told me that a guru would come by to teach and help me advance in this practice. True to his words, if before this I was doing Yogasanas and Pranayama reading from books, he sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal over to Malaysia to coach me in the years to come. Then I was asked to spend some 2, 3 days at Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram to learn more from him on meditation and puja. He added that upagurus will come to my aid as I travel this path. Indeed, besides Agathiyar and the Siddhas, Ramalinga Adigal, Supramania Swami, and Tavayogi, many upagurus have extended their hand in lifting me up on this path. They have all visited my home too. Agathiyar, besides having each Siddha address me the Nadi reading, had them step into and grace our home. If Bhrigu had forewarned me back then on 27.1.2007, that the Siddhas would "play" their games, I came to know what he meant only in recent years when Lord Muruga came to warn me of the game that Lord Shiva and Agathiyar were playing using Indran, the Lord of Maya or illusion to initiate it. Shortly after Bhrigu came, Kagabujandhar came to reveal that I shall not understand the world, not at that moment at least. Agathiyar on 17.2.2007 revealed that I shall begin to write. On 12.6.2007, he told me that I need not live in an Ashram but instead balance out my time with the family and my responsibilities towards them and carry out my Tapas the rest of the time. On 23.9.2007, he asked that I understand the workings of Karma and live accordingly.
On 13.10.2007, Agathiyar passed on a message from Ramalinga Adigal, who told us that there is a purpose in life. His purpose was to shepherd us from the grips of death and the never-ending cycle of rebirth. But sadly, people around him refused to listen except for a handful. They were more intent on worshipping him rather than following his footsteps and achieving his final state. Then it was time to wind up all our activities and association with others. Agathiyar had us stop carrying out rituals and charity. He asked us to go within, practicing Asanas, Pranayama, and meditation. He told us that we needed to start and work on an internal regime that of first cleansing the body that is of the nature of Asudha Degam, bringing it to the state of the pure or Sudha Degam. Then, working on the breath, we transform this body to that of a Pranava Degam. Eventually, we attain the light body or Oli Degam as did Ramalinga Adigal and the rest of the Siddhas. If I had mentioned that I had on many occasions felt a sudden energy come within that brought me to tears and cry out loud or laugh loud, Agathiyar on 23.11.2007 explained that the transmission and the dawn of Gnanam that took place during these sacred moments. The Siddhas had given hints on the changes that would come my way. On 17.2.2007, Changes in speech, walk, and dressing; on 4.3.2007, Changes in the voice and clarity, youth and aura; On 10.3.2007, build-up of the internal heat due to these tapas and practices; On 18.5.2008, an enhanced aura and chakras resulting in the rise of the Kundalini; On 9.8.2010, the generation of extreme heat within what they call Gnana Kanal; On 17.10.2010, attaining the benefits of Hatha Yoga from the many Tapas and Pujas I did. I was asked to see a Siddha physician who can reinstate my condition.
This was when my back hurt very much. I thought initially I had pulled a nerve as I cleared my throat during my morning bath, as always. As I threw out the sputum, I felt an excruciating pain in my left buttocks, that went down right up to my toes. It made me squat in pain. I had to crawl out of the bathroom. The pain aggravated with each day. Initially, I could not walk for a long distance and a long time and had to look for a place to rest my feet and aching back. Then I could not sit for long either. Sitting was itself painful. Then the pain woke me up in my sleep. What was to be a restful sleep turned into a nightmare as I would wake up with bodily pains. I had to crawl out of bed to go to work. I drove in pain. That is how I shuttled between work and home. Seeking the late Dr. Krishnan, a Siddha physician and friend, for advice, he checked three possible causes. I did not have pain while urinating nor blood in my urine, so he deduced that I had no stone in me. My feet were not swollen, so my kidneys were fine. Lastly, he asked me to take an X-ray to determine if I had a slipped disc. I headed for the nearest government clinic. The X-ray showed nothing wrong with my back and backbone. But they referred me to the Orthopedic Specialist at the general hospital for a second opinion. She gave me a clean slate too. I returned to the clinic to begin my session of physiotherapy that began on 12.5.2011. Agathiyar in the Nadi reading on 9.8.2011, addressed my issue. On 26.11. 2011, Agathiyar spelled out the reasons and the solution in the form of several Siddha herbs and prayers. He classified my agony as Paareesa Peedai, which was external and "superficial, existing or occurring at or on the surface and appearing to be true or real only until examined more closely." He said the Muladhara Chakra had attained intense heat, hence resulting in my condition, leading to immobility. The three Dosas too had gone haywire. He asked to consume Amalaki and Triphala and stop all forms of Tapas for the time being. He asked that I pray to the Sun God and Lord Murugan to bring relief. Coming in a Nadi reading again on 16.1.2011, Agathiyar continued to monitor my situation and assured me that all shall be fine. He asked me to continue taking the prescription for another half a Mandalam or 24 days. On 15.2.2012, a miracle took place. The physiotherapist, ironically, asked me to show her the exercises she had taught me and that I had put into practice the past seven months. As I moved into position, and as I began to raise my right leg behind me and stretch my back, there was something as if something gave way, like a latch released, a dam burst, a knot that was untied or loosened, and it brought instantaneous relief and joy to the extent I shouted out and cried in joy. The excruciating pain left magically and mysteriously just as it had come on upon me. I went to work, ran errands, shopped for items, and sat long at my home puja joyfully. I traveled to Kallar again, my second visit, with my family the following year. En route, we stopped over at several temples. We went boating in Ooty. We climbed the small hillock behind Tavayogi's ashram, where we paid our homage to Agathiyar in the form of a granite statue. We took a ride in the classic means of transport, the Parisal, or coracle, over the river Kaveri, to pray to Lord Shiva, Lord Muruga, and Agathiyar at the Nattadreeswar temple that stood upon a boulder in the middle of the river. We climbed the flight of stairs to the Thayumanavar Temple and the Uchipillaiyar Temple built on Rock Fort. But Agathiyar saw to it that I completed my eagerly awaited trip to India without pain and agony.
The years went by with the arrival of the team of youngsters at AVM upon our return home. We saw Puja and charity being done regularly. I could continue my Puja and participate in all the charitable programs laid out by the youths full-time beginning on 1.1.2016, as I retired that year.
Just days before my daughter's wedding in June 2016, the pain crept back. But it was mild and manageable. I guess I must have moved the furniture, pots, and many other things way too far and far too much, at my in-laws' house in enthusiasm and in preparation for my daughter's big day. Mentioning it to Tavayogi and Mataji, who were in Malaysia to bless my daughter at her wedding, they passed me a herbal pill that they took too. But the pain lingered. Dhavantri gave us a pleasant surprise when he came through a devotee and relieved my pain by applying his Prasatham, the sacred ash, that was passed to me by a couple who had returned from visiting His temple in Chennai. I was told it was a case of excessive Vata or wind. Dhanvantri asked to warm some sesame oil and apply it to my back. It brought some relief. After some time, the pain went away.
If I had made sure that I was in top form before going on my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003, and later in 2005, Agathiyar made sure that I was well enough to travel to India to participate in the inauguration of Tavayogi's new ashram with the rest of the AVM family members in December of 2016 again. He made sure I could keep up with the youths traveling with me to all the temples en route to Kallar ashram. Again we traveled in the Parisal crossing the river Kaveri to the Nattadreeswar temple. He made sure I could sit for the duration, reciting the songs of praise to the Siddhas at the Yagam that was lit on the Ashram grounds. He made sure that I could climb the 2000 steps up Othimalai and pay my homage and respect to Othiappar. When my family kept reminding me that I was no longer a youth and had to behave according to my age, Agathiyar came in the Nadi reading on 18.11.2017 and threw in a punch line referring to my age and appreciating my vigor in participating with the youngsters in these trips and in doing charity and service. That was a boost to my spirit.
Then one day, the dreaded pain caught me by surprise as a sneeze came upon me while crossing the streets to my car after making some purchases. I froze, squatting down right in the middle of the street in pain. I managed to drag myself to the car and drove back in pain. Agathiyar knew my agony and the intensity of the pain, and knowing pretty well that I could never withstand pain, mentioned it in the Nadi reading on 7.10.2018. In explaining to me the circumstances as to why it kept recurring, he told me it was a case of the Vasi or the breath that went awry. He gave me five herbal preparations to consume and ointments to apply externally. While this reading was recorded and forwarded to me without the need for me to be present before the Nadi reader, the following day, the equally compassionate Lord Muruga brought a veteran Nadi reader over to my home, where He addressed us in the Nadi and came to treat me through a devotee concurrently and simultaneously! It was a marvel and something I think has never happened before in the history of Nadi reading or in the history of God speaking through others as Arul Vaakku. It was sheer amazement to see two age-old mystical traditions, the written word in the oracle or Nadi and the spoken word through a person, come together that evening to address my pain. Lord Muruga decided to end it once and for all by performing a miracle that day. He treated my causal body that carried the source of the pain by stroking my back with a bunch of peacock feathers that, to our amazement, a couple passed on to us several days earlier. All who were gathered that day were asked to chant the Arutperunjhoti Mantra, where its vibration and waves were "collected" in a glass of water that was given to me to drink. The pain subsided in the days to come.
I remember vividly how in my young days before my 13th birthday, I used to seek relief for all my illnesses by going next door and standing in front of the altar of our neighbor that carried all the statues and paintings of Chinese Gods. My neighbor was a huge old man. He would begin chanting verses in Chinese and hit his bare back with the blunt edge of a sword. He would then write certain Chinese characters in red ink onto a yellow strip of rice paper and burn it. The ash would be collected in a glass of water. I was given the water to drink. I would be cured. Similarly, I remember many instances where I sat before Muslim masters who would go about the same routine, chanting the holy verses into a bottle of water and passing it to us to drink. We would be cured. It is interesting to note that God cuts through the crap telling us that he shall come to people of all faith and religion. To the Gods, we are all one. They only see our souls, not our practice nor our hold on any particular faith. If God were to be partial, he would not be the all-encompassing God. He is father to both an atheist and a believer, and to people of all faiths too.
The following day, 9.10.2018, Lord Murugan described what took place at my place and in me to another devotee in his Nadi reading. He mentioned that he who was a gym instructor and a doctor had both done their part in helping bring relief earlier. Similarly, he had a Varma practitioner to help bring relief to me. He described my state of health. He brought to life the previous day's happenings before the devotee and gym instructor who went for his Nadi reading. Lord Muruga recommended another ointment and herbal medicine. He had a piece of advice for me too, to reduce my activities and go within. Agathiyar came the following year to shut down all our activities and together with Ramalinga Adigal brought us within by passing us several breathing and meditation techniques.
My family is never left out on this wonderful journey with the Siddhas. They told me that they will achieve the same state too. If Agathiyar in my first Nadi reading told me to come to his fold, the worship of the Siddhas, Tavayogi, the first day I met him, asked me to bring my family into the fold too. When I initially used to pray alone, my wife gets dreams daily where Ramana, Ramalinga Adigal, and Agathiyar appear with messages that we could not comprehend. When my wife referred these dreams to Tavayogi, he told me that they wanted her to come onto the path too. It was a gentle reminder from them. When I had to provide my fingerprint like many others who sat before the Nadi readers to find the leaf, she was given her first reading even without being called for by Agathiyar. Agathiyar surprised both the Nadi reader and me by giving a full reading for her in her absence.
Agathiyar final dictate to me was in line with what he had mentioned way back on 25.4.2008, "Keep quiet, and you shall be at peace." Today I am left alone, all to myself, sitting in silence, doing nothing besides the daily morning and evening walks and the family conversations, or when someone visits us, and running around to do some chores, and running after my grandchildren when they visit us or we visit them and off course writing this blog.